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Grief is love without a place to give it — Fatherhood without your children
Today is Father’s day, a time to celebrate and enjoy the impact that being a father can and does have in the life of your children. For me, it’s a time to reflect on what I had and what’s missing. I was blessed to become a father on January 2, 1999, when Jamil Nadir Foster was born. My blessing grew in March 2009 when I became engaged to my second ex-wife Jackie and added Xavier McCollum as my step-son. On July 24, 2010, my blended family became whole, when Jackie and I were married and we officially became a family. Having had a distant and incomplete relationship with my father and disconnected relationship with my brothers, I was on top of the world. A chance to be a father to 2 great young men and help guide them into adulthood was the best gift that I could have. I didn’t see Xavier as my step-son, but as my son, just as when my mother died, my Aunt stepped in to the role and became my mom. Being a parent doesn’t always follow the traditional path, but when given the opportunity, you can and should embrace it. I jumped into the role with Jamil fully and adding Xavier was easy. Each of my son’s had their own challenges but both had great spirits, compassion and intelligence and once they found their stride, they were amazing to watch. Then came the difficult times…..
